Missing You

 It's been more than three years now but I can still smell your scent, see your face in front of me and hear your soft voice. 

It's been three years now and I still can't believe what has transpired. I just can't seem to take in the fact that I can't see you anymore. But deep down, somewhere in my heart I have a little flickering light that says that you'll come back. I still day dream about our future, about how I would include time for you and our family into my hectic schedule, about how we would raise our children. 

Sometimes I feel the need to move on with my life, but then again i feel that for one to move on with their life they need a companion. And for me you have always been that companion. It somehow seems that a part of my soul still dwells in the past because I still do all these crazy things. The only difference is that back then I used to do it to be somehow noticed by you and maybe try to bring a smile on your face even if I had to make a fool of my self in front of everyone else. And now, it's become a habit, that constantly reminds about the good old days. And for some unknown reason this helps me stay in track with my life, it makes me feel that there is still hope. Every time there is laughter around me because of some crazy thing I do, I feel this warmth inside me, that same familiar warmth I used to get when I saw you smiling. 

The last memory of you I have is you dancing in front of me, the first time I was you dancing. And I was left mesmerized...... I almost approached to try and talk to you but as always I backed out because of the crowd. That night I had decided to ask you to dance with me during our farewell the following year. I thought to myself, "Dude! This is do or die time now, so no backing out this time". But I never got the chance....... I'll never forget the days that came after, by far the darkest days I've ever known.

Sometimes I think it's time for me to forget you and move on, but then again what is a man without his memories..... I like the way you constantly come into my thoughts and remind me of the finest moments of my life......... and I pray that you keep doing that. 

I miss you big time.........