Sunday, 6 September 2015

Don't put the blame on LOVE

Go around and ask people anything about love and the most common answer you'll get is "love hurts". But does it really hurt? Is it really love that hurts? I know I still have a lot to see and hear and experience but I think I have a good enough grasp about this love business. I am not going to talk about what love actually is or that other people's concept of love is false or any of that stuff. This is what I personally think about love.
Personally I don't think that love hurts. It's the things that drag along that hurt. It's the misunderstandings, miscommunications and fear; the fear of 'No', the fear of breaking up, the fear of someone meddling. It's like a rose, you know, the petals are beautiful but to get to them you have to go through the thorns. It's not the flower itself that is hurting you but the thorns that are around it, protecting it that inflict the pain. 
When people are in "love" they experience so many things; some are good and some are bad. And then when something bad happens the blame goes to love. "She said no, love hurts", "he likes someone else, love hurts", "she broke up with me, love hurts", "he lied to me, love hurts" and so on. Maybe some of you'll agree to all this. But the way I see it is that it's not love that hurt these people, it's the rejections, jealousies, departures, lies and sometimes the way people show their love that hurts. When parents scold or hit their children for making a boo-boo it's out of their love that they scold or beat you. And of course this hurts but ask yourself is it their love that is hurting you or is it the way of showing their love that hurts. Like I said it's what comes along with love that hurts. This does not just apply to the love of a soulmate, it's the same for all; love for family, friends, co-workers, neighbours, all of them. Love doesn't hurt anyone. It's the one that brings a smile on seeing someone, the one that brings back happy memories, the one that brightens your day, the one that gives you hope. 
Take me for instance, I was also confused at first because when I heard that she was gone, I was really hurt. I might have also said that love hurts at that time because I was upset and not thinking straight. But now as I look back I know for sure about my feelings. Before I was not sure if I could call it love or just a big crush, but I am confident now. I did love her. And now all I have of her are beautiful memories. It was the silence between us that hurt me, not love. It was the fear of what people would say or think that hurt me, not love. It was my own cowardice that hurt me, not love. It was her departure that hurt me, not love.
Before starting this article, I was one of them who thought that true love happens only once but somehow it took a U-turn halfway through. I guess the human mind is really fickle. We fall in love with a variety of things and sometimes even people. What I figured now is that it's all about how deep we fall. And it may also be possible to fall for different people during different times but into the same depth. Sometimes we might fall so deep in love with someone that we might shut ourselves to the idea of falling even deeper for someone else. And sometimes we might find someone and think that maybe we'll find someone even better and lose the best. Sometimes we think we are not ready for it and sometimes we think that we have had enough. Our ignorance, ego, fear , jealousy, desire cloud our thoughts and blind us.  
Love is, like any other feeling or anything in this world for that matter, temporary. It's all about how long that temporary period is. Some might love for a few seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months or years but it will always have an end. But it's not necessary that the end is brought by one's own will. It might be because of someone else, some circumstance and of course ultimately death. And when the end comes it will hurt, but it's not love that hurt. Even if it was just for a day think about the warmth it gave you, think about the smile it brought to your face and on others too.  
Don't be afraid of love or hate it and most of all don't blame love. Love is for everyone, and comes in different shapes and sizes. Great things come in packages and so does love.