Tuesday, 26 August 2014

Who Am I?


My life has always been somehow related to the movies and television series. I have always tried doing things the way I saw on the television and now come to think of it everything I have done till now has been just a “copy and paste” from the screen. I have always (well, most of the time) ended up having sleepless nights because of this identity crisis. So, who am I? Why am I here? What’s my purpose in life?
For friends back in school I was and maybe still am Mr. Bean, or Gabbar Singh because these are the people they met in me, not my true self. I won’t call it impersonation but I have always copied dialogues from movies and television series. All this time, I don’t think anyone met me. And how would they, even I don’t know who I am. Who am I?
All my life I have imagined myself as the protagonist of a movie and thought that everything revolved around me. I would go on walks alone planning my next act, thinking about the past, and talking to myself like in movies. Like any hero in a movie, I wanted to dance, sing, make people laugh, do the right thing, try changing people. I thought I was always right because I was the hero of my movie. All life’s a play, and we must each play its part. Maybe I took that too seriously. Who am I?
And even playing the part of a hero, I couldn’t portray the real me. It has always been someone from the movies. If I wanted to make someone laugh, it was either Mr. Bean or some Bollywood comedians. If there was a football or basketball match, I became the players I always watched on the television. If there was a serious matter to talk about it was the movies that addressed similar situations that came into my mind. If I were to give advice to others, it was the advice I got from characters in the movies. So, who am I?
All my morals, my etiquette, my behaviors are all from movies. What heroes portray as good has been good for me. What they said was right, was right for me. What they said was wrong, was wrong for me. Maybe this is the reason why I can’t seem to accept things that exist in reality. For instance, recently I wrote about the pay hike and my stand was that people who would work even if the salary was reduced are the right people we need. But honestly, even I know these people only exist in movies and not in real life. See? Even I disagree with myself. So where does this put me? Do I even have the slightest idea of the soul living in my body? Who am I?
Imagining oneself as a hero and not having girls fall for you can sure be a round house kick on ones ego. Even my “love story” is like in some kind of movie. The hero falls in love with the girl, but can’t be with her, and now he can’t forget her. Sometimes I wonder if I’m just being pretentious and trying to portray myself as the faithful hero. Sometimes I even feel like I’m trying to advertise my sad story and gain sympathy from people. Who am I?

What’s my identity? What is my purpose in life? What am I supposed to do? Where am I supposed to go to? Who am I supposed to talk to? What am I supposed to say? When will I ever find my true self? Will I ever find out who I am? Who am I?

Tuesday, 19 August 2014

Pay raise to attract capable people??????

I am not really interested in politics and law making and all these things so that may be the reason I am not up to date with thing happening back at home and what people are saying……..
But today I was going through this page on Facebook; Bhutanese forums…… and I was really disheartened with something I read there. It was about the salary raise issue…… I know this is a too little late, (not that it would have mattered anyway)……it seems that the reason for raising the parliamentarians’ salary including the ministers’ was to attract “capable people”.
This really disturbed me……… what does our country need right now? Capable people, huh, they are in hundreds and maybe even thousands but they are not we need right now. These are people we just want. What we really need are capable people who want to serve the country deep down from their heart and not expecting anything in return, and these are hard to find.
Let’s not complicate things and just think straight forward. Would raising the salary really attract the right people? Don’t you think this will attract only the ones who are “money minded”, concerned with only their personal benefits, and those want to make enough to last afterwards? Doesn’t it sound like the motivation for people to join political parties is off the wrong track? If money is the motivation for people to take up such high and important positions, then I think it’s just a shame. It’s a shame for the policy makers, the ones who want to join politics and for the nation as a whole.
We need people who are not motivated by material wealth but the ones who really want to serve the country no matter what. And to find these people we need the right motivation. If a person really wants to serve the country it wouldn’t matter what kind of work they have to do or how much they are paid. I know this is sounds impractical but this is the truth. And for this to be practical, we need to change our theories. I’ve always joked with my friends about the things we were taught as children, in particular one drill, which I guess everyone has done. You remember “fire on the mountain”, right? What we were taught was “fire on the mountain, run, run, run” and that’s where the theory went wrong. What if we were taught to go and put off the fire? I know this sounds like a bad joke, but think about it. If we were taught to face the problems and tackle them ourselves or with friends, what do you think will happen whenever there is a forest fire? The right values need to be instilled at the earliest so that we don’t corrupt as we age. If the theories are right, then the practical will automatically be right.
In my personal opinion, if we reduce the salary to may be half or even less, then we’ll be able to sort out the right people needed for the job. The one, who turns out to serve no matter how much the salary is reduced to, is the one we really need.


Sunday, 3 August 2014

August 3rd

Like everyone else, on this worldwide celebrated day, I wished my friends a happy Friendship Day and was replying to the wishes that came in. But as the day went on I remembered something that my English teacher in high school told us. She pointed out that relationships these days are losing their depth and meaning. People wish each other on social networks, be it on their birthdays, anniversaries, Friendship Day, Mothers’ Day and so on……..but do these wishes mean anything??? Most of the time it’s just like a formality, you know, like you have a notification on your wall and then only you realize it’s someone’s birthday and wish them (these are not her exact words). And even worse than this is when people post “HBD” for birthday wishes. If one does not mean it from the depths of their heart, then I suggest one should not pretend to care about such things and post halfheartedly.
The advent of technology, especially internet, seems to have created some sort of black hole in human relationships. To quote Albert Einstein, “I fear the day that technology will surpass our human interaction. The world will have a generation of idiots.” If we give this a proper thought, we can see that there is a lot of truth in this. It’s true that it is convenient and not so much time consuming to send messages on Facebook, Wechat, and Whatsapp. We can contact many people at the same time and our works are completed efficiently. And it’s all good when it comes to our work. But we are missing the bigger picture here, more than our job and our social status it’s our social relationships that help us get through with our lives. It doesn't matter if you are an engineer, a doctor, the CEO of some company or some big shot; in the end it’s the relations that you have that will help you through the ups and downs of life. One may be able to increase the number of friends on Facebook and Myspace, followers on Twitter and Instagram, subscribers on Youtube, but remember that only a handful will show up at your funeral.
Even I am a victim of social network and I admit that I feel guilty writing all this about the internet. But deep down inside me, ever since my childhood, I have been fascinated by communications through handwritten letters and even to this day I think it’s a great way to show how much someone means to us. The time we spend writing the letter is, in itself a testimony of our feelings for the person we are writing to. Then there is the content of the letter. I don’t think anyone would waste their precious time writing nonsense. We think about what we are writing and give every sentence a thought before writing it down because we don’t want to screw up our relation. And think about it, why would we write letters to people just for the sake of it like on these social sites? This ultimately helps us to separate the people we really care about and mean something to us from the ones we have just for numbers. This may not bring any improvement to the number of people during the funeral (actually the number don’t even matter since we would already be dead and can’t see who all are there). But knowing that people will turn up to pay homage to us with genuine feelings when we die sure sounds nice to me.
Not just that, to save time we tend to write short forms of words which sometimes don’t even mean anything (you can that say I’m blowing my own trumpet, but I never use short form when chatting). This makes everything that was taught to us in school just a waste of time and resources. This has a very bad effect especially for the people who are still attending schools and colleges. And people are blaming poetry and grammar questions for the poor performance of students in last year’s board exams.
Sometimes I wish that communicating through hand written letters becomes a trend again, but then again when I look at my own handwriting I’m like naaahhh………but the alternate for people like me (if there are any) would be E-mail. They are just like letters except for the fact that they are typed instead of written and are more convenient.
Lastly I would like to request my readers to give this a thought. It may or may not be helpful to you but if you share it with someone else may be it can help them change a little………