Thursday, 23 June 2016

I was scared once

I let fear take the reins
I thought it would make
The best decisions for me
I thought that
Fear would protect me
From being hurt
Because it knew what I wanted
And what I didn’t want
I thought that it would help me
Make the right decisions
To keep the ones close to me
Forever by my side
But I was wrong
It made me lose sight of what I had
And what I could have had
After having been in its “Protection”
For so long
I forgot how it felt to be hurt
And that a little hurt is everyone’s share
But I couldn’t handle the pain
Because I had been, for too long now,
In the warm blue hands of fear
I know now, and I will never forget
I can’t give in to fear anymore
It will never hold the reins
Of my life agian
And I also know
I will still be scared time and again
But this time
I will welcome it like a long lost friend
And show it instead
How wonderful it is
To fall down once

And come back stronger than ever

Tuesday, 21 June 2016

confused

Life is confusing,  isn't it?
It wants you to change
And when you do
It wants you to go back
To being your old self

I lost someone before
Because I couldn't put my feelings
Into words
And now I'm losing someone again
Because I can't shut up


Tuesday, 14 June 2016

Something Random

Everything was so easy back then. People say that children don’t know what they want from life because they are immature, but the truth is we knew what we really wanted. And whatever we wanted, we wanted from our hearts and we knew that it would make us happy. And we knew what we had to do to get it. Then we grew up. Of course people may say that grown ups know better. That we make better decisions because we think everything through and decide on what is best for everyone.

As children all of us wanted to become something; an engineer, a doctor, a musician, an army officer, etc. And we really wanted it back then. But after growing up we started thinking, about what others wanted us to become, about what would be a better choice for a better financial and social status. We started thinking about what people would say and think of us. And it’s not just about our decisions about career, we think too much about things as simple as what we want to eat and wear. For instance, a few weeks back I saw kid walk into a shop and asked for a specific potato chip (I don’t remember the name) and produced a ten rupee note. He knew what he wanted to eat and what he had to do to get it. As for me I knew I was hungry but I didn’t know what to eat and therefore didn’t know how much money I would need to spend. I just picked a hundred rupee note from my wallet and went to the shop. And when I got there I was confused. Then the aforementioned kid walked in and performed his special trick. And finally when I zeroed in on something, I felt the need to buy some more because I didn’t want to hand over the hundred rupee note for a ten rupee item (I know it’s silly). And usually when something like this happens (which is almost all the time) I end up spending most of the money.