Wednesday, 5 April 2017

Did you ever feel like someone is following you? Like a pair of eyes are always on you? I do. I always feel like there’s a pair of eyes always on me. And maybe that’s why I always kind of censor my actions. And sometimes even the things that I am kind of good at, I feel like I am doing them just to impress those eyes.
God? A ghost? Or just my own conscience? Or a really good stalker? Which one are you?
And this might sound crazy but I like talking to them sometimes. Because I don’t feel alone anymore. It’s always nice to have someone to talk to.

This is not something I started feeling recently, I have had this feeling since forever. I just didn’t share it with anyone, not one soul. Sometimes I feel like I am not who I appear to be in front of others or for that matter even myself. 

Sunday, 29 January 2017

Untitled Story

1
“Dorji looked at the clock that had just stopped a while ago. His heart raced at an incredible speed. As he took his position, he heard a thunderous roar from the crowd.
“Two shot!” shouted the referee, as he passed the ball to Dorji.
He looked at the basket, took a deep breath and performed what was kind of a ritual for him before he made a free throw; he threw the ball forward with a backspin and wiped off the sweat off his forehead with both hands as the ball slowly bounced back to him. He could feel some kind of pressure mount on his shoulders but he shook it off. He looked at the basket again and as he raised the ball above his head, he felt every eye on the court fall on him. Everyone held in their breath as he let the ball fly......
“Prrrr.....”
The crowd roared again, way louder this time, as Dorji made the first of the two free throws. The referee passed the ball to Dorji again as he shouted, “One shot!”
This time around he felt the pressure on his shoulders increase two folds, and why wouldn’t it? After all it was the deciding shot of the game with only about five seconds of overtime remaining. If he missed the shot they would have to play another overtime period and that was something he knew his teammates could afford. They were too tired after playing hard during the regular time and an even more intense period of overtime with such a strong team.
He performed his ritual and as he looked up at the basket to shoot he smiled. He knew it was going to go in, he knew he was going to make it.
“Prrrr!!!!!” The ball went in. But the opposite team wasted no time and passed the ball quickly to their sharp shooter. He threw the ball towards the basket with just about a second or two remaining but to no avail. They won the match! They won the whole tournament!!!”
“Hahahaha! You watching that movie again? Was that the third or the fourth time?” Chophel’s father asked, as he walked into the living room with his suitcase in one hand and a Kabney in the other.
“Third time this week,” said Chophel closing down the VLC player as the credits started rolling, “I can’t get enough of it.”
“You know it’s just a movie.”
“Yes, I know. But it’s my favourite movie. I never get bored of it, especially the last scene. Every time I watch it, I feel as if I am the taking the shot.” Chophel said, his eyes looking upwards as if looking at the ten feet high hoop.
“Hahahahaha! Is that so? What about other movies? Do you feel like you are the hero of those movies too?” his dad asked mockingly. Chophel didn’t answer. He simply stood up from his chair and walked towards his father, who was now seated on the sofa with his legs on the small stool in front of the sofa. Chophel sat next to his father and placed a hand on his father’s lap as if he was going to say something but he didn’t make any eye contact. He didn’t say anything.
“Is there something you want to say? Come on, you know you can speak to me freely about anything.”
“Actually, there is this one thing,” Chophel hesitated for a while.
“Well, what is it? I hope it’s not about a girl. I already told you that you are too young for such stuff right now.” his father joked.
“Awww, no appa.” His cheeks started reddening. “I think I know what I want for my thirteenth birthday, that’s all.” he continued, “I want to start playing basketball and become a great player like Dorji in the movie. And I want you to teach me how to play, because I know you also played basketball when you were younger. I saw some old photos of you during your school days.”
“That’s it? Thank god. I thought you were going to ask for a girlfriend or something like that. Anyways that is what I had always planned to do. I was waiting for you to show some interest.” his father said, as he placed his hand on Chophel’s head and rubbed his hair gently. “But your birthday is three months from now and before that you have your exams. So for now, just concentrate on your studies and if your results are good enough I’ll even put up a hoop in our backyard, alright?”
“You are the best! I’ll go and tell mom about it.” Chophel hugged his father and headed to the backyard.
“And one more thing Bu, stop watching that movie for now. Even I have seen it twice or thrice with you.” Mr. Sonam shouted as Chophel disappeared from his sight.







2
The game was moving at a high pace. You could tell both the teams were giving in their best and had no intention whatsoever to give up. As the end to the second quarter approached, it was a short boy who had the ball. He dribbled the ball with such quickness the defender could not react in time, which gave him an opening to pass the ball. As soon as his team mate received the ball everyone in the stands stood up and shouted, “SHOOOOOOTTTT!!!!” He looked up to shoot but the defender was quick and jumped in front of him with his hands stretched high. One bounce to the left side and he was free. He let the ball fly as soon as he could but he was confident with his shot. The ball went in off the backboard as the buzzer beeped to signal the end of the first half.
“Guys take it easy out there; it’s just the first half. We still have two more quarters to play.”
“We know that captain,” both of them said in unison.
“Plus they are going to pick the school team after the house tournaments are over. So me and Dawa need to put in everything we got to make it into the school team” Chophel said looking at the shorter guy.
“Yeah, and you know how Chophel is,” Dawa said as he drank some water, “he will still be shooting and scoring like that even if we were to play another game right after this one. I don’t know what his parents feed him.”
“I just happen to have a lot of stamina; it has got nothing to do with what I eat.”
“Alright, you two. That’s enough for now. Keep your heads in the game. We’ll easily win this game if you two keep on playing like always,” the captain said, “Let’s make it to the finals guys.”
“And yeah, Dawa I also happen to have the best coach.” Chophel said pointing into the crowed as they prepared to go in for the third quarter.
Mr. Sonam waved from the crowd. He never missed any of Chophel’s games from the time he started playing basketball.
The match ended with a win for Chophel and his team with a score line of 53-49. The head coach of the school team left as soon as the match finished. Dawa observed that he looked impressed and shared it with his team mates. Chophel, Dawa and the house captain stayed back for a while after the game to cool down.
“You guys will surely make it into the school team this year. But I don’t know if you guys will get to play any games. The coach always gives first team places to the senior team members.”
“If we make it into the team, that will be enough for me,” Dawa said, “And I think it’s fair to let the seniors get more playing time. After all this is the last time they will play high school basketball.”
“Yeah, I agree with Dawa on this. Plus it will be very exciting just to be in the school team and get to play basketball throughout the year.” Chophel looked really happy at the prospect of him and his best friend making it into the school team.
“Man, I just can’t believe how positive you guys are, which is a good thing. I love playing basketball but I can’t handle the idea of playing and practising the whole year.”
“We just love playing basketball,” they said in unison again.
“Anyways, I think my dad will be waiting outside the school. So I guess I’ll take leave,” Chophel said, “Come on Dawa we will drop you on our way home.”
“Yaya, I guess I also have to go now. The key to our house is with me so I guess my brother and sister are waiting on me. And by the way, the finals are this Saturday but it doesn’t mean that we will sit around idly for two days. We’ll practise after school hours, alright? Inform your parents about it.”

“Sure Caps!!!!” their voices echoed as headed for the school gate. 






3
The sunlight crept into the cold room through the small gap between the blue curtains in Chophel’s room. And as the sunlight kissed Chophel’s eyelids he smiled without even opening his eyes. He took a deep breath and then slowly proceeded to open his eyes. As long as he could remember his parents always greeted him with broad smiles and a small cake on that particular day of the year. It was his birthday; his thirteenth birthday.
“Happy Birthday my dearest son,” his dad said, as he opened the curtain to reveal a rather warm December morning.
“Happy Birthday my bu,” said his mom and she placed a soft kiss on his forehead.
“Thank you so much appa and amma. You two are the best.”
Chophel was very excited because 1. It was his birthday, 2. It was winter and 3. His dad always kept his promise. He ran down the stairs and turned towards the living room. He knew what was coming his way next. For the past four years, Dawa was always next to wish him, that too face to face even though he lived about ten or twelve blocks away. He was wearing his usual playful smile.
“Happy Birthday buddy, today is your day so I am here at your service for the whole day.”
“You don’t have to serve me today.”
“You think I am doing this for free?” Dawa teased, “I am doing this because I am expecting the same treatment on my birthday.”
“But that’s not fair, dude. Your Birthday is during school time, which means I will end up doing all your homework. Again!”
“Well that is the general idea.”
“Now that is evil,” Mr. Sonam interrupted, “I feel sorry for you bu. But it sure is nice seeing you two keep your promises even if they are as dumb as this one.”
The boys just looked up at Mr. Sonam and smiled. Just then, Chophel’s mom called out from the kitchen, “Breakfast is ready boys! I don’t suppose you had your breakfast yet, right Dawa?”
“No aunty Wangmo, I came here as soon as I got up.”
“Then stay here for breakfast. I’ll call your mom and inform her that you are here.”
After breakfast the boys helped with the dishes cleaning the dining table. With all the work done for the morning, everyone got ready and headed out to prepare for the evening. Mr. Sonam dropped off the boys at Dawa’s house after which he and Mrs. Wangmo headed for the vegetable market.
Dawa went to his room for a change of clothes while his parents talked with Chophel about the day. They were good friends with Chophel’s parents and the two families celebrated almost every occasion together. Both sets of parents considered the boys their own and the boy loved it and considered each other as brothers. Dawa returned. His father offered them a ride to the town but they preferred walking.
Chophel and Dawa met up with their classmates in the town where they had decided celebrate Chophel’s birthday in the own way, although everyone was invited to the party in the evening. The small gang of twelve to fourteen year olds roamed the streets, hung out at a game parlour, roamed the streets again, ate lunch at their favourite restaurant at the tail end of the town and roamed the streets again, this time with ice-creams in their hands.
At around three in the evening the boys dispersed and went to their respective homes to get ready for the party. Chophel and Dawa also started walking back home.
“So what did you ask for your birthday gift?” Dawa inquired.
“A basketball,” Chophel sounded excited, “and appa even promised to put up a hoop in the backyard.”
“Wow that’s cool. Can I play too?”
“Do you even need to ask? Who else am I going to play with?”
When the boys reached Chophel’s house they were pleasantly surprised right off the bat. Mr. Sonam was putting up a basketball hoop in front of the garage.
“Awesome!” The boys shouted in unison as they ran towards the garage. They looked at each other.
Dawa pinched Chophel’s arm and said, “Same pinch, no returns,” and took off. Chophel followed slowly, holding his arm and rubbing it.
“But you were going to put it up in the backyard, weren’t you?”
“Well your mom is planning to do some gardening there. Plus we already have a paved space in front of the garage so it’s less expenditure.” Mr Sonam explained.

“Go get changed boys, most of the guests are already in the backyard,” Chophel’s mom shouted from the kitchen window, “And Dawa your mom dropped off your clothes here. They are in Chophel’s room so you don’t have to go home for now.”

















4
Chophel woke up early that day; took a shower, changed into his track suit and put his school uniform in a bag. He rushed to Dawa’s house after a quick breakfast. It was a big day for the boys.
“Could you be any slower than this?” Dawa snapped as he continued stretching.
“Sorry bro, I was doing my assignments last night and it took quite some time.”
“Let’s hurry up now; we don’t want to be late for the selections. We have to make good first impressions.” And they took off.
They were the first ones at school that morning. Even the morning rays of the sun couldn’t beat the boys to the school. They started warming up and stretching for a while. Luckily Dawa brought his basketball with him so they did some shooting drills Mr.Sonam taught them when they started playing basketball, before playing some one-on-one. The other aspiring players started pouring in slowly and the one-on-one slowly turned into a game between seniors and juniors.
The coach finally arrived just as the boys started feeling weary. Most of them almost left thinking that the coach wouldn’t show up. But apparently the coach was watching the whole pickup game and had already made a draft list of the future school team players. Chophel and Dawa were the last ones the coach called out but they were happy. He announced the news as soon as he stepped on the court and then proceeded with what he wanted from the players and his aims, the school’s aims, for the academic year. He then let the boys do some basic passing and shooting drills.
There was another news for the boys as they were about to leave for their morning classes.
“You boys won’t be having classes after lunch today. I have discussed it already with the Principal and she has agreed to let you boys go out with me in the afternoon,” the coach announced in his commanding voice.
The select group of boys whispered to each other in excitement.
“I’ll give your name list to the principal so that she can inform the concerned teachers about today’s program for you lot,” the coach scanned through the list, “everyone should be inside the school bus before the bell rings at the end of lunch break. And don’t eat too much for lunch. You can disperse now.”
Chophel couldn’t concentrate at all in the class. He turned around and saw Dawa staring out of the window, smiling; just plain smiling. Chophel knew that Dawa was also thinking about the trip in the afternoon. They exchanged looks as the bell rang to signal the end of first period. And again at the end of second period.

They discussed the possibilities of what the coach had in store for the future school basketball team during the interval. Maybe the coach was taking them to the national stadium or to meet the national basketball team to inspire them like in movies, or maybe to choose their team uniform, or just to help him with some school work that needed the workforce of around 25 boys. The possibilities were many and the time left was only two classes, 50 minutes each.













5
Thirty minutes into the lunch break, the school bus was filled to the last seat with boys in their blue track suits with yellow strips by the side. The only unoccupied seats were filled in about five minutes by the coach, his assistant and of course the bus driver. It wasn’t just the boys who were excited about the trip; a pair of middle-aged eyes too glimmered with excitement, unnoticed, as the bus passed through the school gate.
“Do you know where the coach is taking us, Cap?” a well built, tall boy inquired.
“No idea bro. Plus I was the school team captain the previous year, so you don’t have to call me that.”
“Well, doesn’t that make you the prime candidate for the captain’s position?” Dawa asked nervously.
“That would have been the case if it were coach Rigzin, who was the head coach the previous year. I don’t know anything about the new head coach. No one does apparently.”
While all these dialogues were being exchanged, Chophel realised that he hadn’t seen the head coach this up close before. Suddenly he felt like he had seen the coach somewhere else before, but couldn’t pin point the when and the where. 
“Do you know anything about the new coach?” Chophel inquired.
“Not much. But I did hear that he was to take the coaching job last year.”
“So, why didn’t he?”
“From what I heard, he had some personal business to take care of. The Principal wanted him to coach at any cost. After much deliberation, he convinced the Principal to let him off for a year and personally recommended coach Rigzin as the temporary head coach.”
“He must really be something if our Principal was after him like that.” Dawa pointed out.
“Yes, he must be. Plus I think he is going to make us work really hard too. If I remember correctly, he didn’t miss even one of our games last year after the mid-term.” shared one of the senior players.
“Yeah, and he was always writing down notes.” the previous captain added.
“So he was working on the team even before he took the job?” One of the fresh recruits though out loud.
“Looks like he means business,” Chophel concluded turning to Dawa, “and we need to show him that we do too.”
The remainder of the long bus ride was quieter, as the bus left the city and headed in the direction of the old town, which was nothing more than deserted buildings for the young team, who were born and raised in the new town or from entirely another town.
Little did the guys know what they were in for.




Tuesday, 24 January 2017

Women Are Not Equal to Men


The debate is as old as time and like time people’s perspective on it has also changed. The year is 2017 and even with the abundance of evidences; women still say that they are equal to men. Well they are absolutely wrong because they are far better. William Golding, a British author, said, “I think women are foolish to pretend they are equal to men. They are far superior and always have been.”
Of course, if we turn back the pages of history women have been mistreated, undermined, not given equal rights,  all in all they have been under the shoes of men. But that is not because they are not better; it’s just a matter of physical strength and the ever expanding ego of men.
Women can do as much as a man can and even better if you ask me.
There is this picture on the internet with a group of animals; a monkey, a fish, a crocodile, a snake (to be honest I don’t remember which animals) in front of a tree. And there is this man who is saying, “To be fair to everyone, everyone has to do the same test, that is, climb the tree”. This picture is mainly used to criticize the education system. But the same thing happens when we compare men and women.
And in recent times we have seen that women and voicing out for themselves and for others who can’t, which is good thing because their voices need to be heard and they have to be given their fundamental rights, not only as women but also as human beings. Before being mothers or daughters or sisters or lovers, remember that they are human beings. I support these movements but sometimes they really get into my nerves. Well actually it’s not the wide scale movements that tick me off; it’s what happens in small groups that does the trick.
“Why should boys have all the fun?” Yes, I agree that boys aren’t the only ones allowed to have “fun”. Girls should be given the freedom to do what they want to do for “fun” and enjoy life. If you want to go party, go party. Want to have a drink? Drink. Puff a cigarette if that’s what you want. Do whatever you feel like doing, but don’t do it to be on the same level as men. You are not coming up to equal levels, you are coming down. Do it because you want to and because you have the choice whether to do it or not. 
Most people say that women have been suppressed for too long. I beg to differ. Men can never suppress women. It’s the women who chose to be silent and let me tell you this; silence is not always a sign of weakness. Sometimes it takes more strength to stay silent than to speak up. And over time, this silence got into our (men) head. It just boosted the ego of men and their claim to supremacy.
 Another thing I dislike is how much manlier (not physically) women are becoming these days, mentally and behaviorally as well. I think it helps to know what men are usually talking about and have some thoughts on that as well and be open minded about it as much as you want to be. But don’t turn into men, we already have enough. I have been through this paragraph a lot of time, editing and erasing and re-editing and erasing because I kind of sound like I am against women speaking out their minds. But I am honestly not. Personally I prefer it when girls behave like proper women, minding their manners and especially their language. Like I said before, you are not coming up to the level of men doing it, you are coming down. I have always admired women who speak properly after understanding where they are and who they are with. It’s this very quality in most women that convinces me that they are better than men. Running your mouth just because you want to and can doesn’t mean you should.
In conclusion, don’t try to be like men. Be the delicate and pretty woman you have always been and bring balance in the world of men. Be the one who chose silence over a stupid ego contest. Be you, be a proper woman.
 Don’t come down.

Wednesday, 11 January 2017

Untitled

It’s been a weird start to my 2017. I have had so many fights with myself. I have been really struggling with finding myself and trying to comprehend what was going around me which, to be honest, has been going on for quite a while now. But I guess everything turned out fine in the end. I guess that I needed that. I know that I will face difficulties again and for the better part of the first quarter of the year people will probably think that I am still struggling. That is going to be there for sure. I won’t deny that fact and I also know that it’s going to take me down again and again. But that’s life, isn’t it?
All this while, all those thoughts clouded my mind and my vision and I haven’t been able to see and think right. I still can’t do it well, so no I haven’t changed with the new year. And frankly I don’t want to, too. This is not to change and this is not to the new year.
This is what I think I lost.
I forgot to be thankful.
I have discovered that there is this deep desire inside me to be needed, to be of some use to someone or something, and to be able to relate to others. Maybe that’s the reason why I have always been hell bent on becoming a Jack of all trades. I wanted to be there for everyone and forgot to be there for myself. If there were not enough players on the ground, I wanted to be there to fill in the space. If someone made a reference to a movie or a television series, I wanted to be there as the person who got the reference. If anyone had anything to share, I wanted to be there as the person who listened and understood and said the right things. If someone had a weird hobby, I wanted to let them know that they weren’t the only one. I just wanted to be there. And more than that I wanted people to approach me and ask me for favors and include me in their groups. And in the quest to quench my ego I lost sight of what I had and will always have; my family and some really stupid but irreplaceable people who call me their friend.
This one is for everyone who has been a part of my life, seen me at my best and my worst and most of all shared a part of their lives with me even if it was just a short conversation.
Thank you for putting up with my temper, my mood swings, my breakdowns, my nit-picking. Thank you guys for being there during my happiest hours, for teaching me all the things I know right now, and for letting me be a part of your lives.




Saturday, 23 July 2016

Almost Easy

It’s almost easy not to fall in love
With your contagious smile
That sets everything in place
Tells me that everything is fine
It’s almost easy not to fall in love
With your beautiful smile
That pierces into my soul
Soothes my crying heart
And brings out all the love in me
It’s almost easy not fall in love
With your dreamy eyes
That shine like the stars in the sky
Beckoning me to fall into their depths
It’s almost easy to not fall in love
With your pretty little nose
That caught me out of no where
Telling me that beauty is everywhere
It’s almost easy not to fall in love
With your soothing lovely voice
That makes my heart beat an extra beat or two
Telling me music is everywhere
If one listens carefully enough
It’s almost easy not to fall in love
With the way you say those words
That brings a smile on my face
Telling me how weirdly wonderful you are

It’s almost easy not to fall in love with you
It’s almost easy not to

Sunday, 17 July 2016

Seasons of the Heart



After the cold stormy days
And the dark lonely nights
From the frozen ground of winter
Emerges a small yellow and green
Bringing color and with it
Hope and warmth
Spring promises a new life
And a new life it does give

Everyone comes out of hiding
As the flowers bloom
And as the birds sing
Come the monsoon rains 
Or the hot summer sun
These are happy days

 But soon the green yellows
And the trees strip naked
Taking all that was
And all that could have been

Soon enough cold follows
Some embrace it, some run away
It’s beautiful if one spends enough time
Even addicting to an extent

But however long it may be
The green will surely come
And the frozen ground will thaw
Giving another chance to grow again

Tuesday, 5 July 2016

"So how was the blind date?"
"I don't want to talk about it."
"It was that bad? What happened?"
"I told you, I don't want to talk about it. It's too embarassing."
"You just made me even more curious now. Come on man, except for our underwears we have shared everything with each other."
"Alright. She was great. Absolutely perfect. And we have a lot of things in common."
"Isn't that a good thing?"
"Not when one of the common "things" we share is an uncle."
"What!!!????"
"Apparently my grandfather and his younger brother didn't see eye to eye to the point that they cut off all ties to one another."
"Uh-huh. And?"
"She is his grand-daughter making her my second cousin."
........
"Everything was going great untill we started talking about our families. It was so embarassing. We didn't even complete our lunch."
"Man, I'm going to tell this story to my grandchildren one day."
"No you are not!"
"Oh, yes I am." 😆